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Are you a workaholic or simple a perfectionist?

Are you a workaholic or simple a perfectionist?

When you read the title above which one would you rather be a‘ workaholic’ or a perfectionist?  I would say most would prefer to be perfectionist there is something quite nice about the word.“ Perfection” whereas ‘Workaholic’ has got so many negative connotations. This article may change your mind!

Do you know any workaholics?

Think about it, who is the person being a hero, they are probably really proud to explain hope long they stayed at work being so so busy. It for them shows their commitment their dedication to the company or task, but what’s really going on inside that person?

The term workaholism was coined in 1971 by minister and psychologist Wayne Oates, who described workaholism as

 “the compulsion or the uncontrollable need to work incessantly”

  • Traits that indicated you were an actual workaholic included:
  • Feeling compelled to work because of internal pressures.
  • Having persistent thoughts about work when not working.
  • Working beyond what is reasonably expected of the worker

Check out the symptoms

Physical signs of workaholism (is that a real word) may include headaches, fatigue, indigestion, chest pain, shortness of breath, nervous tics or dizziness. Behavioural signs may include temper outbursts, restlessness, insomnia, difficulty relaxing, irritability, impatience, forgetfulness, difficulty concentrating, boredom and mood swings from euphoria to depression

Do you know anybody like that?

What the Doctors Say

A workaholic is driven to put in long hours by internal needs, typically a desire to escape intimacy and social relationships.

Professor Bryan E. Robinson in his paper , A Typology of Workaholics With Implications for Counsellorsays workaholics often come from dysfunctional homes and have learned that putting in crushing hours helps calm their anxiety about other aspects of life. But like heavy drinking or overeating, workaholism only masks the underlying problem while creating other difficulties.

It’s sad to say that in fact the more they work the less they do!

Prof Robinson says. “A workaholic will spend unnecessary time on a project, often going over it again and again before passing it on.”

Perfectionism is worse than being a workaholic

Despite all the negative evidence from above I feel perfectionism is the one that is the most vicious in its attack against the person.

It robs their victims of the feeling of victory, it steals the good achievements away from them while serving to drive them unhappily into a unfulfilling life.

Imagine creating something good or achieving your goal only to be told “That’s simply not good enough you must try harder in fact try again’

Who is that person saying that they are not good enough, how dare they make people feel so hopeless at what they do!

In fact it’s not an external voice it’s a perfectionist inner voice an inner critic that just wont go away

Protecting Perfectionism

Perfectionism may say its that mindset that drives them. This is not true perfectionist thoughts pretend to be motivating. They claim that they will be driven to do and be better. But it’s actually the opposite.

It turns people into slaves of success—but keeps them focused on failure, dooming them to a lifetime of doubt and depression. It also ends up undermining achievements and takes away that feeling of success.

The truth a perfectionist brain will never ever let them be proud of what they have achieved

Perfectionism takes away all the fun and innovation

Perfectionism reduces playfulness and the assimilation of knowledge; if you’re always focused on your own performance and on defending yourself, you can’t focus on learning a task. Self-reflection is overwhelming and worrying.

It lowers the ability to take risks, we all know that some things like a new idea or different way to find new clients has risks.

Perfectionism reduces creativity and innovation its the opposite of whats needed to help everyone perform at their best.

How To Perform Better At Work Without Spending More Time

It transpires millions of us are working in the wrong way! I explore the evidence and discover how successful people work.

You will find my book on sale at Amazon Books or Amazon Kindle or FREE to my visitorshere

Book by Nick Marr

Do you have a bad boss?

Bad bosses are detrimental to our enjoyment at work and to the business’s they work in. They demotivate people and cause businesses to rack up huge costs as people leave or simply don’t give their best.

 A study by Life Meets Work found that 56% of American workers claim their boss is mildly or highly toxic. A study by the American Psychological Association found that 75% of Americans say their “boss is the most stressful part of their workday.”

Work time should be precious it’s where we can spend most of our time and where we can experience some great highs. Bad bosses are missing out on opportunities to maximise revenue and making a positive impact on our lives. I list 10 signs of a bad boss

1. Lacks Emotional Control

Angry bosses and the ones that are moody one day and happy the next provide employees with an emotional roller coaster.

They don’t realise that they are setting the tone of the day influencing the mood that people can take home with them. Angry bosses have little self-control or awareness of themselves and lack emotional intelligence

It’s bad for them and its bad for you, repeated activation of the stress response takes a toll on the body. Research suggests that chronic stress contributes to high blood pressure, promotes the formation of artery-clogging deposits, and causes brain changes that may contribute to anxiety, depression, and addiction. Recommended Read Daniel Goldman Moods Matter (non promotional)

2. Does Not Know Who You Are

Those that lead can win trust and respect when they genuinely become interested in who they work with. Learning about someone’s life and what motivates them are all key to increasing performance. No one wants to be invisible and feel that they are just another number. Bad bosses don’t engage they lock themselves away almost afraid to speak to their people. What have they got to hide?

3. Does Not Really Understand Your Expertise

It’s a fact that a boss may not understand the detail of the role that you undertake. You are the subject expert and a boss that does not appreciate your point of view and experience is missing out on vital information. Some think they have to demonstrate to their subordinates they possess better knowledge than them in a weird desire to feel superior. A boss who thinks they are experts in everything really winds people up. They are missing out on learning for themselves, will make the wrong decision based on a lack of understanding. We all hate a ‘know it all’ and when it comes to a boss there is no exception.

4. No Flexibility At Work

Is your boss a leader or a manager, bad bosses manage people bean counting and tied up with micro managing detail. They are not a leaders you can identify them by inflexibility. They will refuse to take account that we all have lives outside of work. So when you have a problem that’s stressing you out and your time off is refused it really does get to you. It will be the thing you remember and recall to others. Importantly it serve to change the mindset of a motivated individual. Bad bosses will ignore the fact you may work in your own time or arrive early tied up with the rules.

A great boss is a human being that can offer to help you out and will win your loyalty. They will encourage you to take time away from your computer when you have lunch. They will will want you to take the time off you are entitled too. Bad bosses don’t realise that we all need time off for recuperation and we all need a degree of flexibility for the emergencies that happen in all of our lives.

5. No Positive Feedback

Some bosses only look out for the bad stuff and only highlight your performance when things go wrong. This breeds a culture where everyone is afraid of making a mistake. Naturally that organization will lack innovation and creativity which all have elements of risk.

What about the other times that you did well? Negative Bias bosses suck the enthusiasm out of a team and individuals. Good feedback inspires and helps create the feeling of being appreciated. Some bosses are scared to praise as they think the person will stop working hard? Bad bosses can’t say thanks and its destroying motivation. Bad bosses won’t thank you for great performance as they will feel its your job. Some may just provide a perk or agree to a salary increase not knowing that words from the boss can be just as powerful.

6. Favouritism

Office politics and a boss that plays one person against another is a horrible game. One played by thick skinned bosses who don’t realise what they are doing. You may even come across bosses that use it as a deliberate tactic. Divide and conquer style bosses make life really difficulty and give us feelings of injustice. Favouritism is not against the law but it’s frustrating for everyone, even the one that’s been picked as the favourite! Individuals feel helpless and hard done by and will have a heightened sense of awareness around the people who are the chosen ones.

7.Takes The Glory For Your Hard Work

Bad bosses don’t even realize they are taking all the glory for a job well done. Some see it as they employed you to do the job, which you did well, and so they rightfully have the right to congratulate themselves. How many bosses have gained promotion, been rewarded financially for the hard work of others?

Bad bosses don’t recognize the contribution you have made. When they are basking in the glory it would be so easy to mention your name or dept., it would be so easy to thank you for your contribution. Bad bosses who have zero empathy, they cant see that the next time you may not try so hard. They can turn a star performer into a former employee with no idea on how demotivating this type behaviour can be.

8. Does Not Bother To Explain the ‘Why’

In the past it was good to enough to say “Just do it” without an explanation to why. An entire generation including my own simply followed the orders of the boss, sometimes we were perplexed to the meaning of the task. Asking why it was necessary would be seen as to question authority almost disrespectful. Bad bosses continue with this dinosaur rhetoric replying “Because I said so! This will leave the enquiring mind of the new generations offended demotivated and sometimes lost. Knowing the why can help put you in the bigger picture, motivate you to do a great job and help you feel part of the business.

After-all you may have a suggestion that could really help. Bad bosses will not realise that others are motivated differently and may think differently about there roles.

9. Does Not Recognise Our Need to Grow

Bad bosses are not interested in your personal goal to develop, in fact ambition could be seen as a negative attribute, they see that you may looking to leave or outgrow your existing role. Spending company money on developing an individual is seen by the bad boss as fruitless exercise. They may even see it as threatening as you strive to better yourself with up to date knowledge and qualifications. Good bosses will see that the individual will be in a position to bring new knowledge to the business and have an inspired individual who seeks personal growth

10. Lacks Passion and Vision

People love to follow someone who has a passion and a great vision for the future, they want to feel they are making a difference. Bad bosses will overlook the need to inspire and to motivate. They will see that you are receiving a salary or bonus and that should be enough. Bad bosses are more about carrot and stick and NOT follow me and my dream.

 So What Have I Missed?

Has any of the above resonated with you? I am interested in your experiences it would be great to have some added below (without names of course)

Who is this guy Nick Marr?

 I started my life helping leaders get the best from themselves at the Metropolitan Police Leadership Academy, Scotland Yard. I then went on to run several disruptive businesses; I was featured in the FT and BBC Breakfast for my startups. I accidentally created a social media viral that went global. I have experience as Vice President of Sales and Chief Marketing Officer. 

I coach leaders, help individuals with their startups and speak at events about leadership and diversity.

More at NickMarr.com it would be great to hear from you.

#leadership #leadeshipskills #boss #people #hr #leadershipdevelopment # 

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European Mentoring & Coaching Council

What is emcc?

The EMCC or European Mentoring and Coaching Council aim to raise standards for the coaching and mentoring profession, not only in the UK but also across Europe.

“Our aim is to define, create and promote best practice for all in mentoring and coaching. For professionals in the field we provide a reference point for key elements like standards and ethics and a continuous conversation about how to keep improving them.”

The EMCC Competence Framework is the result of extensive and collaborative research to identify the core competences of a professional Coach and Mentor

There are eight competence categories across four levels.  These eight core areas comprise of:

  • Understanding Self
  • Commitment to Self-Development
  • Managing the Contract
  • Building the Relationship
  • Enabling Insight and Learning
  • Outcome and Action Orientation
  • Use of Models and Techniques
  • Evaluation]

Coaching Conferences

The EMCC holds different conferences:

  • International Mentoring, Coaching, and Supervision Research Conference
  • International Annual Mentoring, Coaching, and Supervision Conference
  • International Mentoring Conference.

You can view details of all our EMCC conferences and book on-line at www.EMCCconference.org

Why have a coach?

Coaching is a process that aims to improve performance and focuses on the ‘here and now’ rather than on the distant past or future.

While there are many different models of coaching, here we are not considering the ‘coach as expert’ but, instead, the coach as a facilitator of learning.

There is a huge difference between teaching someone and helping them to learn. In coaching, fundamentally, the coach is helping the individual to improve their own performance: in other words, helping them to learn.

Good coaches believe that the individual always has the answer to their own problems but understands that they may need help to find the answer.

For coaching in the UK there are three main bodies Association for Coaching (AC), European Mentoring and Coaching Council (EMCC) and International Coach Federation (ICF) all share a mission to drive the highest standards.

EMCC hold a series of Webinars that may be of interest to budding coaches